The Misadventures of GamerDragon Vol 1: Dragon and a Happy New Year
by GamerDragon13
Summary: I decide to throw a party to greet the new year! It doesn't go over very well... Opps? Script-Format Crack


SETTING

The inn in Donau. Jace Beleren is checking in.

Jace: WAIT! *Pauses the fanfic.* Why am I here?! I have important paperwork on Ravnica!

GamerDragon: *Enters the fanfic.* BECAUSE I AM THE AUTHOR! If I want you to dance like a monkey, you will dance like a monkey!

Narrator: Said the author like a whinny child.

GamerDragon: SHUT THE *Censored* UP! What the *Censored*?! Who the *censored* is *Censored* with the *censored* censoring button?!

Jace: *Eyetwitch.*

Narrator: The main cast of "The Legend of Dragoon" then enters. Gods help us…

Dart: Who was that?

Albert: Oh-no… Another evil author!

GamerDragon: Am I really the worse?

Meru: Well, there WAS-.

Albert: DON'T mention her name. EVER!

GamerDragon: Oh, come on! She was funny!

Rose: Not to us.

Jace: WHY AM I HERE!

GamerDragon: Because I said so! I wanted to combine my fav games for my New Year's fanfic.

Meru: OMG! THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN! IMMA GO GET THE BOOZE!

Rose: OH NO YOU DON'T! *Tackles Meru to the floor and sits on her.*

Meru: WAAAAAA! *Starts flailing.* Lemme up Rose! You're so mean!

Narrator: Right then, Chandra Nalaar kicks open the door, looking like the sexy bad*Censor* she is.

Chandra: Watch it, Dude!

Meru: *Still under Rose.* OOOOH! THE NARRATOR HAS A CRUSH ON CHANDRA!

Chandra: *Sees Jace.* Beleren!

Jace: Hi Chandra.

GamerDragon: KISS HIM!

Jace: *Who was drinking mint tea spittakes.* WHAT?!

Chandra: WHAT?!

Rose: Ugh, damn shippers…

GamerDragon: Screw you and your logic! Let me ship!

Dart: So who's getting the booze?

Haschel: I'll get it.

Dart: If you get it, we'll never see it!

Narrator: Then Liliana Vess enters, pulling a little red wagon FULL of booze!

Liliana: I got it. AND SHUT THE *Censored* UP! Wait what the *Censored*?! Why am I being censored?!

Narrator: Because I knew there were characters that have mouths that make a sailor blush.

Liliana: You mother*Censored*!

Narrator: Say what now?

Liliana: You're *Censored big time*!

Everyone: *Blushes.*

Jace: I certainly don't remember her using that word before.

Narrator: Still didn't hear you!

Belinda: Bad idea dude, even for you.

Liliana: *Grabs the narrator and turns him into a zombie.*

Zombie Narrator: *Ambles out the door.*

GamerDragon: Shit, I need a new narrator now. *Calls the Narrator Service.* Hi, I need a new Narrator… Yes I'll hold.

Albert: Are you sure we should let him go off like that.

Liliana: Eh. He'll be fine.

Albert: I was more worried about the people.

Ajani: *Enters with Elspeth.* Is anyone aware there's a zombie out there?

Liliana: He'll be fine.

Elspeth: Ugh, who invited you?

GamerDragon: PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE ALREADY!

Jace: The author who put us here.

Liliana: At least I brought the booze.

Meru: *Still under Rose.* We need snacks now!

Haschel: I'll get them.

Dart: Then we'll never get to eat!

GamerDragon: FINALLY! I've been on hold forever!

Albert: You've been on hold for 2 minutes!

GamerDragon: Shut up! *To the person on the other line.* Not you! This barnacle head I'm with! Yes, I need a new narrator! What happened to the other one? Well…One of my characters sorta turned him into a zombie. Hello? HELLO?! *Censored*! She hung up on me! Wait, how am I still being censored?!

Kongol: *Is unknowingly sitting on the censor button.*

GamerDragon: *Groan.* Never mind. I need to get a new Narrator ASAP! Someone go get food!

Albert: You're bossy.

GamerDragon: *Looking through the phone book for a different Narrator servie.* Thanks for volunteering Al!

Albert: But I didn't!

Dart: Can I have Cheez-Its?!

Shana: I like powdered doughnuts!

Kongol: Kongol come with!

Meru: No fair Shana! I WANT THE POWDER DOUGHNUTS! *Gets Rose off and gets up.* I'm coming with!

Albert: Gods help us…

Chandra: I want Flaming Hot Cheetos!

Xenagos: *Enters.* Did I hear food and booze?! Will there be sex too?!

Elspeth: *Eyes glow red and she grabs her sword.*

Xenagos: ACK! *Flees in terror.*

Elspeth: DIE YOU SON OF *Censored*?! *Chases Xenagos.*

Ajani: *Worried about Elspeth.* That was unnerving…Oh! I want roasted boar and Elspeth likes berries.

Dart: Just buy a bunch of stuff.

Sorin: *Enters.* Well, at least I won't be hungry.

Rose: *Takes out a whip.* Huh? What the-?! *Confused.* GAMER DRAGON!

GamerDragon: *Taking her phone out.* What?

Rose: Why do I have a whip?!

GamerDragon: Whoops! I guess I forgot to change your weapon back from the other fanfic.

Albert: That one you accidently deleted the second act of and haven't updated since?

GamerDragon: I'll get there! Eventually…*Calls the Narrator service.* Hello, I would like to order a Narrator. *Groan.* Yes, I'll hold.

Nissa: *Enters.* Ugh, finally found the stupid place-. *Sees Sorin.* YOU!

Sorin: Why is she here?

GamerDragon: Opps…I forgot there were going to be people who hate each other here…Oh well, just don't kill each other!

Albert: *Goes to the store with Meru, Haschel, and Kongol.* (LOL! Totally forgot about them!) So, where to?

Meru: A grocery store, of course!

Albert: Of course…*Takes out a sheet of paper that magically appeared in his pocket containing a list of guests. He pales at all the people coming.* HOLY CRAP!

Meru: That's a lotta people. *They pass a guy watering flowers and Zombie Narrator jumps the guy and eats him while he screams.*

Albert: *Leads the way to the store each person grabs a cart.* I guess we should buy more booze since Liliana didn't get enough.

Kiora: *Runs past with a cart full of booze.* OUTTA MY WAY!

Meru: COOL! A MERMAID! *Follows Kiora.*

Kongol: What just happened?

Albert: I don't know, but I'm scared. *Starts to collect food, Kongol and Haschel doing the same.*

Zombie Narrator: *Groans, stumbling in and starts eating a clerk.*

Clerk: *Screams like a little sissy girl.*

Meanwhile…

New Narrator: *Sits.* Okay, what's my motivation?

Rose: *Raises her fist.* How about I give you one!

New Narrator: Okay!

Chandra: I'm hungry!

New Narrator: The group is then joined by Tezzeret, Garruk Wildspeaker, and Nicol Bolas, causing Jace to hide behind the counter, breathing into a brown paper bag. Ugh, what a wuss.

Jace: *Censored* you! You'd be scared too if those three wanted to rip your guts out and strangle you with them!

Tezzeret: Wow, Beleren. You're pathetic.

New Narrator: Garruk then turns to Liliana.

Garruk: YOU!

Liliana: *Dramatic.* OMG! Me?!

Garruk: Your head's gonna roll, *Censored*! *Looks confused.* What the *Censored*?! Whose *Censored* with me?! *Censored* you! Stop it! *Starts crying.*

GamerDragon: Seriously, Narrator Bob, stop censoring us you *Censored* sucking son of a *Censored* *Censored*!

New Narrator: I'm not doing it! And my name is MIKE!

GamerDragon: YOUR NAME IS BOB UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE, MORTAL SCUM!

New Narrator: *Scared for his life.* I think we should check back in on the others…

Meanwhile…

Kongol: *Pushing two carts full of pizza and orange soda.*

Albert: *Pushing a cart full of nuts, berries, and yourgart.*

Meru: *Pushing a cart full of chocolates and candy.*

Kiora: *Pushing a cart for of booze.*

Haschel: *Pushing a cart full of junkfood.*

Tamiyo the Moon Sage: *Pushing a cart full of books, notebooks, and pens.*

New Narrator: They are at the checkout, which has a light on but nobody is there. In fact, the grocery store seems to be devoid of life.

Meru: Isn't someone supposed to be here to check us out?

Haschel: Yes. HELLO! We need service here!

Albert: Where is everyone?

Meru: Maybe everything is free!

Kiora: Yes! Because we're all so very awesome!

Kongol: Kongol hungry anyway. Let's go back to inn.

New Narrator: As they leave, a clerk is crawling toward them, trying to cry for help. They set off the alarms, making them run away in panic. The Zombie Narrator then comes and finishes the clerk off.

Clerk: *Screams.*

Back at the inn…

Chandra: Ugh! I'm bored!

Miranda: *Holds up a sign that says "Why haven't I spoken yet?!"*

GamerDragon: Okay, who here hasn't had a line yet?

New Narrator: Miranda, Nicol Bolas, the recently arrived Gideon Jura, Ral Zarek, and Vraska raise their hands.

Jace: *Has passed out from hyperventaliating.*

Vraska: Look into my eyes kiddies!

GamerDragon: *Puts a solid metal waste bin over Vraska's head and gives it a good kick, effectively knocking her out.* Okay, Miranda is a *Censored*, Ral's a giant *Censored*, Bolas is…Well, Bolas-.

Hikari Hellion: *Bursts in.* An oversized leather handbag with an ego bigger than his *Censored*?!

GamerDragon: I wouldn't quite say that…

Chandra: An *Censored*?!

GamerDragon: Well, no…

Gideon: A douche?

Rose: Melbu Frahma's *Censored.*

In the Underworld…

Melbu Frahma: *Was sipping tea and pauses, looking around confuses.* Hmm… *Goes back to his tea.*

Hades (from Kid Icarus): *Running around like a moron in the background.*

Back at the inn…

New Narrator: Albert, Haschel, Kongol, and Meru return, Kiora and Tamiyo following.

Albert: Holy crap! Is it really almost midnight?

Nicol Bolas: Yes, which means we all take a drink to greet the New Year.

Rose: Meru is not allowed to drink though.

Meru: *Censored* IT!

Nicol Bolas: Aw, the poor little *Censored* sad because she can't drink?

Meru: *Takes out her hammer.* Wanna say that again?

Nicol Bolas: Oh, I'm soooooo scared. The little brat has a hammer!

GamerDragon: Bolas, you're a moron.

Rose: A big moron.

Hikari Hellion: *Bursts in again.* AND A GIANT TURD!

Nicol Bolas: *Censored* you, Hellion!

Hikari Hellion: No thanks, not interested.

Nicol Bolas: *Eyetwitch.*

Tezzeret: Your Hellion friend is a real piece of work.

GamerDragon: Isn't she?

Dart: Five minutes to midnight!

Rose: Yippity *Censored* do.

Nicol Bolas: So, brat. Where did you get the-?

Meru: *Bashes Nicol Bolas on the head with her giant hammer.* *Censored*!

Tezzeret: Seriously, what's with the *Censored* censors?!

Jace: *Still breathing into a paper bag.*

Meru: Four minutes!

Rose: Uh, who cares?

Chandra: Everyone does!

Dart: You're hot.

Shana: HEY! *Punches Dart.*

Rose: And suddenly I'm amused.

Avacyn: Three minutes!

Chandra: Wait, how did you get here?

GamerDragon: I must have summoned her.

Dart: Two-ow-minutes… *Holding his broken nose.*

Shana: You deserved it, Dart.

Lloyd: One minute!

GamerDragon: Who invited you?

Lloyd: Uh, you did?

GamerDragon: Nice try, *Censored*.

Lloyd: Ugh, you are such a *Censored*.

GamerDragon: Hmm? What was that?

Lloyd: I called you a *Censored*.

GamerDragon: Still didn't hear that.

Chandra &amp; Dart: 10!

Rose, Sorin, &amp; Avacyn: 9!

Shana, Elspeth, Ajani &amp; Nissa: 8!

Garruk, Kongol, Haschel, &amp; Meru: 7!

Tezzeret, Nicol Bolas, Lloyd, &amp; Liliana: 6!

Albert, Kiora, Tamiyo, &amp; Jace: 5!

Xenagos: 4!

Elspeth: *Starts chasing Xenagos with her sword again.* *Censored*!

Miranda: 3!

GamerDragon &amp; Hikari Hellion: 2!

All: ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DJ'walker: *Appears at the DJ booth, a spectrum of colors illuminating the place and put on the festival music from "Final Fantasy – Crystal Chronicles".*

Dart: Won't people get mad that a Final Fantasy song is appearing in a Legend of Dragoon fanfic?

GamerDragon: WHO CARES! *Starts dancing on a pole.*

Miranda: Where the *Censored* did that pole come from?

Albert: GamerDragon is a fanfiction author. Don't question it.

Miranda: *Takes out and SMG and aims at Albert.* I WILL QUESTION WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE!

Albert: Where the *Censored* did you get that?!

Gideon: I'm ashamed to be part of this fanfic.

Jace: You and me both. Although I'm more scared than embarrassed.

New Narrator: The very next day!

GamerDragon: *Wakes up with a groan.* Ugh, what hit me? *Looks around and gets up, heading to the door. She opens it groggily and looks out, paling.* HOLY *Censored*! *Slams the door shut, waking everyone.*

Albert: WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?!

GamerDragon: I think our New Year is a little…Well, look for yourself.

Albert: *Opens the door and slams it shut.* What the *Censored*?!

Dart: What is it?

GamerDragon: Zombies. Lots of zombies.

New Narrator: Everyone then heads out to see people running around like idiots while zombies eat them.

Dart: What the-. How did this happen?! Wait…

New Narrator: Everyone then turned to Liliana Vess, who smiled and waved daintily.

Liliana: Um…Sorry?

Jace: *Censored* it, Vess!

Liliana: On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad are you?

The 11th Doctor: ELEVEN!

GamerDragon: ACK! *Jumps in alarm.*

Garruk: Wimp.

GamerDragon: *Censored* you!

Liliana: Whelp, I better get to work. *Starts cleaning up her zombie mess.*

* * *

**From the Author:** Happy New Year everyone! I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you look forward to my Valentine's Day special! Anyway, I hope to start working on fanfics more this year (Key word being HOPE). In the meantime, please enjoy what's here. Now R&amp;R and I will see you next time. Also, look me up on Twitter GamerDragon13. No seriously, I'm so lonely!


End file.
